


I'll Be Here

by JayTyHeyBye



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Grief/Mourning, Major Spoilers, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayTyHeyBye/pseuds/JayTyHeyBye
Summary: Everything hits Peter like a ton of bricks and Aunt May is there to pick up the pieces.+++POST ENDGAME, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. Don't read if you haven't watched the movie.





	I'll Be Here

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another spoiler warning. If you haven't watched, don't read!!

All Peter could do was watch as the basket of flowers, partnered with the Arc Reactor and Tony's ashes, floated down the river and away from the dock. His body was tense and his hands, which were clasped tightly in front of him, trembled. Peter’s vision was blurred with unshed tears and all he could hear was a static in his ears. Nothing seemed real. Everything was numb, yet so overwhelming at the same time.

He hadn’t felt like this since he lost his Uncle. He’d almost forgotten what this feeling was like. 

He hadn’t missed it, truth be told. 

Peter felt May’s hand come to rest on his shoulder. The simple touch felt like needles striking into his skin through his suit and it _burned_. He knew she meant well and while he appreciated it, he appreciated her comfort and support, it wasn’t helping.

He couldn’t stop himself. Turning on his heel, he made his way through the small crowd and up towards the house. He just needed a minute alone and to breathe. Just as he was making his way up the steps, lower lip trembling, he felt slender fingers grasping at his elbow, just gentle enough to get his attention. Not forceful whatsoever.

Peter didn’t need to look to know that it was Carol. Captain Marvel, as everyone else called her. He was told to just call her Carol. 

“You don’t have to handle this by yourself, Peter.” 

Peter swallowed the lump in his throat and, despite the sympathetic look in her eyes, he shook his arm from her grasp. All he could do was nod and continue on into the cabin.

 

The drive home had been basically silent. May had only spoken once or twice, commenting about the Mountains and any animals they passed, but other than that, they sat in a comfortable silence.

When they entered the actual Apartment, Peter kicked off his shoes and shrugged his suit jacket off. May, without being prompted, took the jacket from his grasp.

“Take off the rest of your suit and I’ll hang it up. Don’t want it getting wrinkled. Okay?” She folded the jacket over her arm. 

When she didn’t get a response from her nephew, she frowned. Peter was staring off into space, jaw tight. May took a step towards him and pressed a hand against his cheek. Their eyes met, only for a brief moment, and May gave a sad smile which Peter didn’t return. 

“Go get changed and I’ll order Thai Food, okay? We can curl up on the couch and watch Star Wars, you love that movie. How does that sound?” 

Once again, Peter could merely nod. May moved her hand and he was quick to make his way into his bedroom. The door shut behind him with a soft click and, for the first time in hours, Peter sucked in a long, deep breath. 

He simply leaned against his door for a moment, eyes closed and arms hanging limply at his sides. He was tired. His entire body ached and there was a dull throbbing in the back of his skull. 

It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. Why’d it have to be Tony? He had a family. A wife, a daughter. A 5 year old daughter who was going to grow up without a father.

He knew how it felt to grow up like that. Sure, he had May and Ben, but there was a feeling he couldn’t begin to explain. It fucking stung, to say the least. He’d been 5 years old when he lost his parents, too. 

Pepper had suggested he come and babysit Morgan sometimes, maybe on the weekends. She’d suggested that they become friends. He wanted to be there for her, really, to be the mentor he didn’t have when he was her age.

However, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to go back to that Cabin again. There were reminders of Tony Stark absolutely everywhere. 

Peter opened his eyes and looked around his bedroom. The colours seemed duller than usual. The checkered pattern of his covers just looked grey and lifeless. 

Just a couple years beforehand, Tony had been sitting on his bed and asked Peter to come to Germany. Peter had told him he had homework.

Peter dragged his hand over his face and took two slow steps into the centre of the room. It was eerily quiet. Way too cold, but his room was always cold. It helped him sleep. Not much anymore, mind you. Nothing really helped him sleep nowadays.

Glancing over at his desk, cluttered with schoolwork and random knickknacks he found at various thrift stores around Queens, he spotted the framed photo beside his computer. It was the photo of Tony presenting him with his “internship” scholarship. The certificate was upside down and they were doing bunny ears behind each other’s heads. Tony had an ever so slight smirk on his face. He looked happy. 

Familiar tears stung Peter’s eyes. Tony should be here. 

Back there, on the battlefield, he had half expected Tony to suddenly gasp awake and tell them all it was some big joke. Peter was never going to forget seeing Tony laying there, limp, eyes open and vacant. It would haunt him until the day he died.

Just like that, he felt like his throat was closing. No air was filling his lungs and the room began to spin. Peter reached up with shaking hands and frantically undid his tie, throwing it across the room. Tears openly rolled down his face. Peter opened his mouth to shout for May but no noise came out. The only sound he emitted was a pained whine. He surged forward and grasped the back of his desk chair, but it didn’t help anything. Peter’s legs buckled and he collapsed onto the ground with a loud thud. The chair he was grasping onto fell over as well, but he didn’t hear it. All he could hear was his own heart thumping in his ears.

He didn’t hear the sound of May opening his bedroom door and rushing in. She was at his side in an instant, but at that point Peter was inconsolable. He was openly sobbing, head hung and chest heaving.

May dropped to her knees, grabbed ahold of him, and pulled him into her arms. A hand was placed a hand on the back of his head as well as in between his shoulder blades. Peter wailed into her shoulders, clutching handfuls of her dress. 

“It’s-it’s not fair, it’s...” Peter couldn’t bring himself to finish. Either way, he didn’t need to. May pressed a kiss into his hair and shushed him, hand rubbing soothing circles against his back. 

“I know it’s not. I-I know. I know, baby.” 

They stayed like that for some time, May holding Peter as his sobs slowly dissolved into broken, shaky sniffles. May finally pulled back, hands coming to rest on Peter’s face. She brushed away any remaining tears with her thumbs and the edge of her sleeve.

“Listen to me, okay? Listen.” She took a slow, shaky breath. There were tears in her eyes, too. “I know it hurts. I know it’s not fair and it feels like the world is ending. It’s...It’s bullshit. Waking up in the morning and knowing everything else is carrying on normally, even though...” She hesitated. “It hurts. I understand how you feel, sweetheart. I do, better than anyone. You need to know, though, that no matter what happens, I am here. I’m here, Peter. I’m here for you and I’m always going to be here. Always.”

“What if you’re not?” Peter hated how small his voice sounded. May sighed and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I will be. Even if you can’t see me. Okay?”

“Okay.” 

She pulled him into another hug which he gladly accepted. May glanced over at the photo on the wall, then squeezed her eyes shut. 

“I’ll be here.”


End file.
